Deafheaven's Personal Journey

Chapter III (support) Realization

Home
Chapter I (descending)
Chapter I appendum
Chapter II (for every end a beginning)
Chapter II appendum (What's in a name?)
Chapter III (Support)
Chapter III (support) For A Hurting Friend
Chapter III (support) Realization
Chapter III (support) Fear Of The Unknown And Of The Familiar
Chapter III (support) Motivation
Chapter III (support) LauraKate
Chapter III (support) Thank You
Chapter IV: What I've Learned
Chapter IV: BMR
Chapter IV: Fitday
Chapter IV: The Mighty Caltrac
Chapter IV: The Dreaded Scale
Chapter IV: Journal the Journey
Chapter V: But is it safe??
Photo Page
Photo Page II
Chef Deaf: Pizza
Chef Deaf: Chicken Balls
Chef Deaf: Cinnamon Rolls
Chef Deaf: Through the Looking Glass (magic mushrooms)
Chef Deaf: World's Greatest Low Carb Pizza
Product Review: Snack Thins
Chapter ?? (dreams) Someday Maybe

Memories

They can offer you the warmth of a quilted comforter fresh from the dryer or the biting sting of an unsuspected slap across the face delivered by someone you love and respect.

Anything, of course can light the fuse of remembrance: a sound, a smell, a vision, a dream. It is amazing to me that after such an occurrence the raw emotion of the most joyous of times…that first kiss, your wedding day, the birth of a child…or of the profoundly saddest of times….an abusive situation, the death of a child, someone leaving you…can be felt as though it had happened but a moment ago. The greater the emotional content of these mindful photos from our past, the greater the clarity. If you have ever lost someone dear to you, try to recall in your mind’s eye the features of this most significant person. Likely you will have difficulty in recalling the detail of their aspect. Now recall your interactions and experiences with that same person. This recollection may very well have a soft tear rolling gently down your cheek or place the widest of smiles upon your lips. Events you thought long since buried deep in the cob-webbed catacombs of your psyche are dusted off, polished, and presented anew. Years after you had thought you had wept all there was to weep, you find that the river had not run dry at all. The waters had merely been retained and saved for future irrigation.

Sometimes I think too much, analyze too much. I’m constantly reflecting on the past and on the future. It’s two steps forward and one step back. Or sometimes one step forward and two steps back. It can cause one doubt as to whether they are advancing at all.

For me, of late, my memories, both good and bad, have for whatever reason, come rushing to the surface. But for the first time in perhaps my entire life, sadness and regret has not led to food. Not of the high carb kind … not even of the low carb kind.

Perhaps I am getting better after all.

pdc.jpg