Deafheaven's Personal Journey

Chapter III (support) Fear Of The Unknown And Of The Familiar

Home | Chapter I (descending) | Chapter I appendum | Chapter II (for every end a beginning) | Chapter II appendum (What's in a name?) | Chapter III (Support) | Chapter III (support) For A Hurting Friend | Chapter III (support) Realization | Chapter III (support) Fear Of The Unknown And Of The Familiar | Chapter III (support) Motivation | Chapter III (support) LauraKate | Chapter III (support) Thank You | Chapter IV: What I've Learned | Chapter IV: BMR | Chapter IV: Fitday | Chapter IV: The Mighty Caltrac | Chapter IV: The Dreaded Scale | Chapter IV: Journal the Journey | Chapter V: But is it safe?? | Photo Page | Photo Page II | Chef Deaf: Pizza | Chef Deaf: Chicken Balls | Chef Deaf: Cinnamon Rolls | Chef Deaf: Through the Looking Glass (magic mushrooms) | Chef Deaf: World's Greatest Low Carb Pizza | Product Review: Snack Thins | Chapter ?? (dreams) Someday Maybe

This is a poem started by a member of my support group. She wrote a poem to me and I responded and so on. I think it is beautiful and says much about my feelings.
 
I gaze into the depths of the enchanted pool
Its silver surface smooth,
Hardly a ripple there.
Beneath the surface life’s strange game is playing out;
The fear, the death, despair and joy,
The laughter, pain,
The longing, love,
That none of us can do more than imagine
When viewing from the surface up above.

Shall I dive into those waters
Will the ripples turn to waves
Will I drown in sorrow
Or perhaps in happiness

I think I shall make the attempt
Perhaps just one step at a time
So as to adjust to it's icy cold
I'm in up to my knees now
But I can still see the shore

Still hard to release from the sandy comfort
Of deafheaven's beach

Step cautiously as you leave the beach
Crustaceans, lion fish and sharks
Live beneath those icy waves
The depths are home to deadly things of beauty

The harmonious shore is not always safe
Especially where sand meets sea
Where flotsam and jetsam and razor shells
Hide waiting for the unsuspecting

But you are the pool
And the pool is you
So you need not drown at all
Tho I have seen the reflected shore
And it’s not the shore itself


So then there is danger all around me
Some out in the open
Some chameleon in nature
Both above and beneath the sea

If I am the pool
Then why do my waters not merge
Why do I feel more like the oil that floats to the surface
Why do I feel the fool

And in my search to know
These denizens of the deep
Will I allow them the privilege of closeness
Or will my progress prove too slow

The question that has plagued me these many years remains
Am I afraid of miserable failure or of unmitigated success
Afraid of future's pain
Or afraid of future's gain

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