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This is a poem started by a member of my support group. She wrote a poem to me and I responded
and so on. I think it is beautiful and says much about my feelings.
I gaze into the depths of the enchanted pool
Its silver surface smooth,
Hardly
a ripple there.
Beneath the surface life’s strange game is playing out;
The fear, the death, despair and joy,
The
laughter, pain,
The longing, love,
That none of us can do more than imagine
When viewing from the surface up above.
Shall I dive into those waters
Will the ripples turn to waves
Will
I drown in sorrow
Or perhaps in happiness
I think I shall make the attempt
Perhaps just one step at a time
So
as to adjust to it's icy cold
I'm in up to my knees now
But I can still see the shore
Still hard to release from
the sandy comfort
Of deafheaven's beach
Step
cautiously as you leave the beach
Crustaceans, lion fish and sharks
Live beneath those icy waves
The depths are home
to deadly things of beauty
The harmonious shore is not always safe
Especially where sand meets sea
Where flotsam
and jetsam and razor shells
Hide waiting for the unsuspecting
But you are the pool
And the pool is you
So
you need not drown at all
Tho I have seen the reflected shore
And it’s not the shore itself
So then there is danger all around me
Some out in the open
Some
chameleon in nature
Both above and beneath the sea
If I am the pool
Then why do my waters not merge
Why do
I feel more like the oil that floats to the surface
Why do I feel the fool
And in my search to know
These denizens
of the deep
Will I allow them the privilege of closeness
Or will my progress prove too slow
The question that
has plagued me these many years remains
Am I afraid of miserable failure or of unmitigated success
Afraid of future's
pain
Or afraid of future's gain
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